A Matter of Chemistry
by yuffiehighwind
Summary: Ares angrily asks Aphrodite to remove the love spell she cast on Discord and Deimos. (Discord/Deimos.)


**Summary:** Ares angrily asks Aphrodite to remove the love spell she cast on Discord and Deimos.

**Notes:** This is an excerpt from a WIP I'm writing that's posted over on AO3 called "Always knew the melody but never heard it rhyme." (Yeah, I'm that chick who uses song lyrics as obnoxiously long fanfic titles.) Anyway, "Always Knew the Melody" takes place during my weird XWP/HtLJ series "An Eternity in Cheese Country," a ludicrous epic in which Discord, Deimos and Strife have been reincarnated in 1998 Wisconsin. Long story, no time to explain, but "Always Knew the Melody" is told from the still-immortal Aphrodite's POV and is largely about her life as Deimos' mother. (Cupid gets in some narration too, and so does Ares, I guess.) In this chapter, Ares angrily asks Aphrodite to remove what he believes is a love spell.

Like in the original Greek myth, Aphrodite and Ares are the parents of Deimos and Phobos, even though Deimos is explicitly their cousin in TV canon. Phobos is not a character in the TV series.

References episode S6E2 of HtLJ, "Love Amazon Style," in which Aphrodite accidentally enchanted some Amazons and Deimos forced them to dig up the Kronos Stone.

Subtly references a fanfic I wrote - which is posted on AO3 - called "Got Me Walkin' Side to Side," in which Deimos' powers have changed slightly after he and Discord have sex.

Takes place fifteen years after S5E19 of XWP, "Looking Death in the Eye," and ten years before S5E20, "Livia."

Content Warning: Self-indulgently 'shippy. Some swearing and some references to sex, but nothing detailed.

* * *

**A Matter of Chemistry**

"Aphrodite!"

The God of War's deep bellow echoed throughout his sister's temple before his physical form materialized within it. The disembodied voice was pure fury, a storm that would terrify any creature, human or god, loud as a thunderclap, with a hint of violent rage.

The god appeared in a swirling cloud of blue smoke, and as a man he was an imposing figure. Scowling and projecting an uneasy menace, one hand rested on the hilt of his sheathed sword, and the god seemed itching for a fight. He was tall, broad-shouldered and clad in a black leather sleeveless vest that hung slightly open, showing off a tan chest and bare arms, wrists wrapped in thick silver bracers. His trousers were black leather as well, held up by a silver studded belt. The god had short cropped black hair, a goatee and handsome features.

"Aphrodite!"

He repeated the shout, a summons for the goddess to appear and face him. Turning around, Ares took in his surroundings. Figuring she would keep eyes and ears on her most important shrines, he chose her temple in Corinth to confront her. The light grey stone had been painted with patterns of many bright colors, and a large marble statue of the goddess stood in the center of the room. Vases displayed around the temple, resting on short tables, showcased various scenes of humans worshiping the goddess, humans doing various tasks, or humans making love to each other. A massive altar sat at the front of the temple, loaded with offerings of flowers, fruits, jewels and small idols of the goddess made of gold. Every other bare surface had been covered in white candles, giving the room a soft glow.

The goddess had been called twice and still not appeared. In his anger, Ares considered smashing one of the vases to get her attention. Aphrodite hated nothing more than being disrespected.

"I'm gonna count to three!" he said, picking up a small ceramic pot. Ares didn't oppose breaking Aphrodite's stuff, but didn't push his luck by choosing a larger object. They were two of the oldest gods in the pantheon, and Aphrodite was as powerful, if not more powerful than himself. Pissing her off led nowhere he wanted to go.

"Alright, alright!" said a feminine voice. In a shower of gold sparkles, the goddess materialized, one hand outstretched to take the pot from his grasp. Ares gladly handed it over, his frown turning into the briefest of smirks. Of course touching her stuff would get her to show.

The goddess was slightly shorter than her brother, with long blonde curls that draped her shoulders and provided more coverage than her shawl. The cloth barely covered her pink leotard, its color a similar pink but more translucent substitute for a robe. With a slender waist, long legs and large bosom, she was a flagrant show-off. Despite oozing sexuality, Ares viewed the love goddess only as a sibling, almost his twin in some ways, though they had different mothers. Ares had looked upon her with lust only once, and to this day he blamed Dionysus for it. That guy mixed some strong drinks.

"What is it?" she snapped, placing the pot back on its stand. She adjusted its position until it looked perfect. Hands on her hips, Aphrodite gave Ares an appraising look, trying to figure out what his answer would be.

He didn't keep her hanging long.

"It's our son."

Ares had only lusted for her once, and the product of their union was probably the stupidest, most disappointing god on Olympus. He was acting strangely, though, and as a concerned parent and employer, Ares felt it his duty to tell Aphrodite and demand she fix things.

"What about him?" Aphrodite asked, and she was a damn good liar, because she was batting her eyes at him like an innocent bystander who wasn't a manipulative witch. Ares almost didn't want to voice it, his anger turning into frustration.

"You will lift the enchantment you've cast on him at once."

Aphrodite looked confused, saying, "Huh? I didn't cast any spells on Deimie."

"Ah-ha!" said Ares, catching her. "How did you know I was talking about Deimos?"

Aphrodite rolled her eyes.

"Probably because nobody's seen Phobos in over a century. And I'm pretty sure that kid is almost as hard to enchant as he is to find."

Ares could spot their son sometimes out the corner of his eye. He'd feel his presence, and see flashes of his worst phobias, sometimes. The God of Fear was always out there, somewhere, doing his job.

His brother Deimos, on the other hand…

"Lift the enchantment."

"What enchantment? I don't know what you're talking about."

Aphrodite's acting was good. He'd have to drag the truth out of her.

"The one on Deimos and our little sister Discord."

Ares paused, still reluctant to share what he'd seen. Aphrodite nodded, prompting him to continue.

"I caught them together," he said.

Aphrodite's eyebrows raised, but she didn't seem surprised.

"They were…" Ares paused again and cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably to his other foot. "They were kissing."

Aphrodite laughed.

"I thought you were gonna say something a bit more graphic than that."

"It was disgusting," Ares spat.

"Oh, come on," said Aphrodite. "You should've seen this coming."

"What's that supposed to mean? Did you already know? What did you do to them?"

Aphrodite smiled.

"I didn't do anything. They found each other on their own."

Ares scoffed. She had to be lying. There was no way she hadn't been involved.

"I can list three ways this union makes no sense. One, Discord's a woman."

"Bi-phobic much?"

"Two, she's his aunt."

"After what happened between you and Strife, you're one to talk."

"And three, they hate each other. They're constantly fighting and sniping. Arguing, competing, screwing each other over."

"And screwing too." Aphrodite laughed again, musically, like this was delightful and not a disaster.

"You knew about this and did nothing to stop it?"

"There's nothing to stop. Why not let the kids have their fun? We're all incestuous, pansexual dysfunctions on legs. I like to think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, which I am, but we're anthropomorphic personifications. Love and war. Nature and death." Aphrodite grinned. "Discord and terror. Human conventions need not apply." Aphrodite picked up a flower and twirled it in her hands, then threw it over her shoulder. "You're just jealous 'cause you've still got a thing for her."

Ares couldn't deny his feelings for Discord strayed towards the sexual. Even romantic, long ago, far back in the beginning. But he could ignore her for decades, even centuries at a time, while his sister's infatuation never waned. It had been fifteen years since Xena died, and Ares couldn't remember a conversation with Discord during all that time lasting more than a minute.

"Maybe so. You're very perceptive." Ares narrowed his eyes. "I find it annoying."

This only made Aphrodite smile wider.

"Let me show you something."

She took Ares' hand and together they teleported to a battlefield far away. Ares rematerialized in a glimmer of blue and Aphrodite in a shower of gold. He let go of her hand and looked where she was pointing, to some boulder in the distance overlooking the bloody battle. Two figures were slightly visible, and with a squint Ares could zoom in to see a clearer image that almost made him sick. He covered his eyes.

He snapped, "Aphrodite!"

Ares heard her say awkwardly, "Oops! Um, sorry about that. I didn't know they were, um—"

Aphrodite took his free hand and teleported them back to her temple. Ares pushed her hand away.

"I don't want to see that!"

"Neither do I," Aphrodite said. "I don't watch, just so you know. But I catch them sometimes after, and maybe if we wait, like, five minutes, you can see what I'm talking about."

"I don't understand," Ares said. Turned out Aphrodite not only knew their son was sleeping with Discord but had actually spied on them.

Aphrodite looked around, found a jug of wine a human had left and took a sip. She offered it to him, but he shook his head. His sister was stalling, trying to pass the time.

Ares sighed. "What did you mean, before?"

"About what?"

"About Discord and…" Ares vaguely gestured to the door, unable to actually point to their son but Aphrodite got his meaning.

"That it's not a spell. That it's something else. Something unique. To them, I mean. Humans experience it all the time."

"You can't be serious."

"Five minutes are up."

Aphrodite snapped her fingers and they were on the battlefield again, facing the younger gods but invisible to them.

No longer having sex, Deimos was holding Discord from behind, his arms wrapped around her. They must have just finished, because Discord's hair was a mess, her breath shallow and eyes lidded. She had a slight smile on her face, a satisfied I-just-got-fucked expression. She reached down to clutch his hand, which still rested on her hip. Deimos had bent her over the boulder, a sight Ares never wanted to see again and feared was burned into his brain. Now dressed and standing, the young god embraced her in an uncharacteristically tender way.

Discord turned around to look up at him, and he smiled, then leaned down to kiss her. They kissed for some time, first lightly and then more passionately. Ares cringed when they started using tongues.

"What am I looking at, sis?"

"Just wait for it."

Then the pair broke apart. They practically jumped apart, in fact, their smiles dipping into frowns, into serious expressions and professional nods, their glances no more intimate than ones between coworkers. As it should be, Ares thought. A moment of weakness, surely. They would get it out of their system and then go back to normal.

Discord glimmered violet, and Deimos red, and they dematerialized. Show over.

"Nothing happened. They fucked, they kissed, they went their separate ways. What's so special about—"

Suddenly two bright glimmers appeared, and the gods rematerialized where they had stood before, but not standing feet apart. They were kissing again, their physical forms shimmering and difficult to see at first, before solidifying. Discord had her arms wrapped around his neck, and he was holding her tight, his hands gripping her buttocks. The only way Ares could describe the kiss was that, to them, nothing else mattered. This saccharine display was even more disgusting than the pair fucking. Ares turned to look at Aphrodite, who was watching the gross sight with affection and happiness.

"What even is this? Stop it," he said. "Make them fall out of love."

Aphrodite's expression brightened even more at his slip of the L-word.

"I can't. I have no control over real feelings," she said. "Watch this bit." The pair separated again, and Discord teleported away in her usual cloud of violet smoke. Deimos remained, looking at the space where she had been for a moment, before dematerializing in a shower of golden sparkles.

Ares' jaw dropped.

"What the-?"

Aphrodite made a gleeful noise.

"It's so cute when he does that!"

"What the-What?"

"Tomorrow he'll go back to murdering people and being unpleasant, but it's still kinda funny and sweet."

"The—What—how-?"

"I'm a part of him, Ares," she said. "Don't forget that."

Ares collected his bearings. It made sense a god so mixed up inside would have multiple powers, and the shades of their gleams weren't set in stone. Discord's was violet but used to be red. Deimos often appeared inside a turquoise bubble, likely another quirk of being Aphrodite's son. Apollo's gleam was silver, his sister Artemis was green, and Hera purple. The Goddess of Fortune teleported in a shower of coins. When she was a goddess, Callisto traveled in a burst of flame. And kissing other gods was fun. Kissing after a fuck was nothing, just like kissing beforehand was just a warm-up.

"When did this start?" Ares asked, because yeah, he was feeling jealous now. His son's powers leaning towards love instead of war didn't bother him - Deimos fucking Discord was what bothered him, especially since it was so shocking. Surely this was the briefest of blips.

Aphrodite looked like she was trying to remember, and oh no, that wasn't good.

"Ten, maybe fifteen years ago?" Aphrodite replied, sounding uncertain about the number. "When Xena died, I think."

Ares blinked. He rarely heard that name spoken these days. He didn't want to be reminded of what he'd lost. What his family had ripped from him.

He vaguely remembered Discord hanging around the Halls of War those first few months, until one day she stopped showing up.

"How often does this happen?" Ares cleared his throat, still staring at the space where the two had been standing. "Once every couple years?"

Aphrodite frowned. "Um…"

"Once a year?" Ares asked, hopeful their number of dalliances wasn't higher. Aphrodite wouldn't look at him. This was unbelievable."Twice?"

"Well, more like—"

"Three, four times?" Aphrodite bit her lip. "Once a month?" Ares grew agitated. "You've gotta be kidding me! More than once a month?" Aphrodite reluctantly nodded. "Once a week?"

"Yes," said Aphrodite. "But not, like, all the time! And not until recently." She sighed and confessed, "Actually, it was three times this week." She cringed, apprehensive of what Ares would say or do next.

"You're joking," he said. She had to be. It wasn't possible.

"I'm afraid not."

Ares paced, and resisted kicking the earth hard enough to cause an earthquake.

Hang on, he thought. If Deimos was Aphrodite's son, then maybe he was just a huge slut, deep in his blood, just like his mother.

"Tell me, Sis, how often are you intimate with Hephaestus?"

"Eww!" said Aphrodite, prudish about her marriage though not about her body. "I'm not sharing details."

"I merely inquired about the frequency of your lovemaking, not a play by play. Gross!"

Aphrodite calmed. "Oh. Well, I'd say twice a month, but we're trying to make it twice a week. Sex is very important to me, and last time my husband and I grew apart, well, Deimie got his hands on the Kronos Stone!"

Ares had heard what happened, of course - he forced the story out of Deimos himself. Aphrodite thought casting a love spell on Amazons was a good way to blow off steam during a break in her marriage. It backfired, allowing Deimos to mind control them into digging up a shard of the Kronos Stone. Thankfully Hercules had been there to play marriage counselor, before Deimos could cause any real damage.

"You mean to tell me these two jokers are having more sex than the Goddess of Love?"

"See? I told you. Real feelings."

Ares suppressed his jealousy - pushed it down deep. It was his own fault. He had ignored Discord for fifteen years, so she turned to the only other god in the pantheon who could keep up with her terrifying intensity in bed. Ares knew humans couldn't truly satisfy her. Mortals were too fragile.

Plus he looked like Strife. That was a whole other fucked up can of worms Ares never wanted to open.

"Don't say anything to them," Aphrodite pleaded, when he raised his hand to teleport. "Please don't say anything to them."

Ares made a frustrated noise.

"Fine!" he said. "I won't tell them that you brought me to spy on them fucking in a field." Aphrodite blushed. "And then told me all about their affair." Ares scoffed. "Some love goddess you are."

"Oh shut up," she said.

"Gladly. I'm leaving. Lots to do, people to kill." Ares pointed at Aphrodite. "Keep away from those two."

As he vanished, he saw Aphrodite blow him a kiss goodbye and give a cheeky little wave.

What a weird fucking day.


End file.
